The Experience

01I’m really fed up saying it0:00

Somebody asked me today if I would explain what happened, how I found this. I don’t normally do this because I’m really fed up saying it. But I’ll say it one more time. It’s 102. Twenty-six years ago, that was when all the awareness groups were in real high spirit, really going. Everybody was into awareness groups. And I really couldn’t be bothered with that. I just didn’t believe in it.

And all my friends were going to awareness groups. My late wife and I we had our little problems like everybody else but nothing disastrous. And we thought, “No, we’re not going to do it.” So all my friends were after us. “Oh, you should really try this place and that place.” We heard that there’s a very, very highly specialised person from New York coming to BC. So we thought, “Well, if we’re going to go, we’re going to go to the best.” So we decided to go.

We put our name in and registered. We got frightened and cancelled it. We did it a second time. Our insecurity came back, and we cancelled it again. The third time, we put our name in again, and the woman there said, “This has to be Mr. Banks.” So anyway, off we go to this thing. And it was the weekend, and it was disastrous. It was awful. They were screaming at each other. They were cursing and swearing at each other. They were telling you to argue with your partner, and I thought, “This is crazy.” Why would anybody that has problems and they’re arguing and they want to stop this arguing, why would they go to some crazy guy that tells them to argue more? This is like saying you stick your finger in the fire and you go, “Wow, it’s so sore.” And somebody comes up, “You want to cure it? Stick it back in again.” So it was no good.

And we decided there and then that we were going to leave it and go home. But a couple of nights before, we were having a cup of coffee with this young couple. And this young couple were there because they had problems, and he himself, the fellow, he was a psychologist. He was a doctor. And we started talking, just having a cup of coffee. And he was telling me how insecure he was. And I said, “Well, you’ve got a partner because I’m really insecure.” And I told him why I was insecure. And I went into all the details of my life why I was insecure. Poor Syd. Poor Syd. Poor Syd. And he’s listening to me.

02“I’ve never heard such nonsense”3:40

Well, a couple of nights later, I saw the same man and he said the most unusual thing to me. He said, “You know, Syd, the other night you told me you were insecure, and I’ve never heard such nonsense in all my life.” And I heard him. And what I heard was there’s no such thing as insecurity; it is only thought. And it hit me like a ton of bricks that all my insecurity was only my own thoughts. And it was like a bomb going off in my head. And I turned round to him, and I said, “Have you any idea what you just said?” He said, “Of course I do. I don’t make idle chatter.”

But I knew he didn’t because he was telling me how insecure he was. It was so enlightening it was unbelievable. And for three days and three nights I never slept because there was such beauty coming into my life that I’d never experienced before. And I’d lie in bed, and it felt like the entire evening was like 15 minutes. It just went that fast. Then it’d be daylight.

And on the third evening, we went over to Salt Spring Island where my mother-in-law lived to spend a couple of days with her. And the first evening I was there, I’m sitting in the living room, reading the newspaper. And my mother-in-law and my late wife were in the kitchen making supper. And they were talking to each other. And you’ve heard cosmic humour where you see beyond the words? Well, I heard. And I burst out laughing because I knew they didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. And my old mother-in- law got fuming mad. And she came walking into the living room, and she said, “May I ask what you’re laughing at?” Well, that made me laugh even more.

03The white light6:07

Both the ladies sat down and I sat down. And I thought, “Boy, I’m in trouble. I’ve got two women against me.” And I’m thinking to myself, “How can I get off the hook?” So I stood up to try and explain why I was laughing. Instead of doing that, I turned around, looked out the picture window at the ocean, and it was like being sucked down a tunnel. And all of a sudden, I was buzzing. And there was white light all around me, just buzzing, buzzing, and I was in the middle of this light. Nobody could see it, just me. And it was like I was captured in this white light and it was just buzz, buzz, buzz. Right there and then, I realised the true meaning of God. And I started to cry.

And I turned around to Barb, and I said, “I’m home. I’m free. I’ve made it. I’ve conquered this world. This means to say that you and I will be traveling all over the world. We’re going to change psychology and psychiatry so millions of people will be healed.” Well, you can imagine what these two women looked like. They looked like somebody had hit them right between the eyes. And because I had found the secret to mind, I knew what they were thinking.

So I started to talk about normal things, just every day things. But that didn’t take the fear away. And the following day, I was talking so different. I was talking without thought. And everything was just coming out like I’m doing now. You don’t have to think. You don’t have to think. And out it came, and nobody knew what I was talking about. And I’m scratching my head, saying, “Wait a minute. Am I talking in some foreign language? And I’m talking so simple and everybody’s going ‘whoa.’”

04Handing in my resignation8:25

Well, I went back to my work two days later, and when I started to talk, nobody knew what I was talking about. Now, I wasn’t talking about this. I was just talking about every-day life, but still there was something wrong. I worked in that mill for 10 months after it, no intentions whatsoever of leaving. And one Friday afternoon, I was working away, and I stopped. And I stood up. I thought, “Oh, I’ve got to leave.” And I walked into the office, and I said, “I’d like to hand my resignation in.” And they said, “Oh, Scotty, come on. Please, think about this. You’ve been here nearly 14 years. You’ve got all this seniority. You can’t leave.” And I burst out laughing. And I said, “I’m sorry. I’ve got to leave.” And they said, “Well, what are you going to do?” And I said, “I don’t know.” They said, “Have you got money to support yourself?” I said, “No.” “Aw, you better think about this.” And it was a real turmoil. And I said, “No, please. I’m leaving in one month’s time.”

Now, how they knew I don’t know. But one month later, I went over to Salt Spring and from all over the world people came. Gurus from India, monks from Tibet, people from all over the world. And to this day, I still don’t know how they heard about it. And that was the beginning. And it was the beginning of good fun because I met the most unusual people you’ve ever met in your life.

No wonder they thought I was crazy because of the people that came. It was really interesting. And they’re talking about spiritual energy, but they didn’t really realise what spiritual energy is. Spiritual energy is the world; it is. It just is. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s not in some far-off land. It’s inside you. It’s deep down in your soul. You know how some preachers in the old days would say you’re losing your soul to the devil, because you’re doing harmful things to people.

05Never be a follower11:03

Well, that’s true because you’re losing your spiritual intelligence. And because you’re losing your spiritual intelligence, you’re losing your soul. You’re losing your common sense. Don’t you see it’s all the same thing in different words? There were many, many things. Another funny one that got me was—as a matter of fact there was another guru from India, only he didn’t live in India. He lived in United States somewhere, and he had six followers with him. And he disagreed with me because I kept saying, “Never be a follower. Never, never, never, never be a follower.” And he says, “I resent that because people follow me because I’m so wise and I’m so this and I’m so that.” And I said, “Well, I’m sorry we disagree on this point, but if you’re a follower, you lose your own dignity. You lose your own self-confidence. You lose everything if you’re a follower.”

Now, it’s quite different between being a follower and being a listener. I could listen to, say, maybe a high Catholic priest or a person like that, and you listen. Then you go and listen to a rabbi, and you listen. Then you go to the grocery store, and you listen. You listen all over the place. You could go to the library, and I guarantee what you’re looking for is in your library. Guaranteed.

And I don’t even know the books in your library. No matter where it is, the truth is there. But you’ve got to find it.

And even when you open a book, it’s there and you’ve got to find it. You ever read a book, and you said, “Wow. That’s incredible”? And you get an insight. You close the book, and the following day you could look until hell freezes over and you can’t find it. But it’s in there. You saw it. You saw beyond the word. And that’s the most important thing. And this is what this fellow was getting quite upset about.

06The guru and the cookies13:33

So I talked with this man and his followers for maybe an hour. Then Barb says, “I wonder if these people would like some tea.” I said, “Sure, okay.” So we both went into the kitchen. We’re making tea and we had a can that had got cookies and all this. And this fellow comes up to me, and he said, “You know, Syd. That is very interesting what you’re saying, but there’s only one thing bothers me.” I said, “What is that?” He said, “You have no humility.” And I said, “Oh. I’m sorry you feel that way.” He said, “Yeah. You’ve got to find humility.” He said, “Now, I have lots of humility.” And I’m looking at this man, saying, wait a minute. Something’s wrong here.

So anyway, we had the tea ready, and I took the teapot to walk in. And this guru says, “Can I help?” So Barb hands him this can of cookies. Immediately he dropped to his knees, and he walks through the kitchen on his knees, into the living room, all around everybody, passing the cookies on his knees. He comes back into the kitchen, and he gets his finger and he says, “Now that’s humility.” And I always remember what I said to him. I said, “Do you know, sir, humility is when it isn’t.” And he said, “What do you mean by that?” I said, “You figure it out.” Everybody in here knows we’re the most humble people on earth.

07Humility, and the state of non-caring15:28

Humility is the ego, an image of self-importance. And when you can get rid of that ego, that image of self-importance, this is where you start to live in tranquillity because you don’t care. You don’t care. You’re not going to hurt anybody. Don’t get me wrong. But you don’t care. And the state of non-caring is the most beautiful state in the world because you’re not thinking about yourself; you only think about others. And when you think about others, then you will feel good. Ignore yourself and think about others.

And yet, the ironic and the paradoxical thing about this, I said to you yesterday be as selfish as you can and find it for yourself. And once you find it for yourself, then your world switches and you can’t find that switch until you see that. You’ve got to find your own switch that puts that light on. Do you know how the biblical teachings talk about light? Light is wisdom. That’s what the wisdom is. That white light I was talking about, only I could see that.

And I know many people used to come up and say to Barb, “What did you feel like when this was happening?” She said, “Well, I couldn’t understand it, but there was a feeling in the room that night that was a tremendous feeling.” She said, “At first, we thought Syd had flipped because here’s a grade-nine educated man, talking about doing all these things.” But there is no doubt. There is no doubt. And I’m not just talking about myself. I’m talking about anybody in the world.

08Wisdom doesn’t enter — it unfolds17:50

When I’m talking—I told you this morning—I’m talking impersonal. It’s nothing to do with me or you. We’re talking about a spiritual essence that lies deep within the soul of every human being on earth, everybody. Everybody has it deep within their own soul. And the idea is to clear your mind of all the intellectual understanding that you have, clear your mind to let this wisdom in. And this is why people meditate. They meditate to clear their mind, to quiet it. And once this silence comes, this wisdom, it doesn’t enter. This is a nice fallacy. It does not enter. It unfolds. It doesn’t go from outside-inside. It goes from inside-outside.

So you only find something that you already have, something that you were born with, something that you’ll die with, something that nobody on earth can take away from you. Only you can destroy you. Only your own mind, your personal mind can stop you from seeing this. And this is why these wise people said, “Meditate.” Do you see simplicity in this? That’s all it is.

09I lost every friend I ever had19:39

When I found this, I lost every friend I ever had in my life except for two people: Ken and Elsie. And that was very touch and go. Now, my friends that know me from the past they thought I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown because after I left work and I had to go back to do some paperwork once, and I saw some of my friends. And the first person I saw came running up to me and said, “Hi, Scotty!” And shake my hand. “What are you doing these days for a living? Are you busy?” I said, “I’m very busy.”

And I didn’t want to talk to him because I didn’t want to frighten him, so I didn’t want to say it. I said, “Yes, I’m busy and I’m doing well.” “Well, what are you doing? Who’re you working for?” I said, “I’m working for myself.” “Oh, you bought your own welding machine?” I said, “No.” He said, “Look, Syd. You’re avoiding my question. Now, I want you to answer. What were you doing, say, two days ago?” And I really didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to frighten him, but I had no other choice. He asked me. I said, “Well, I was at UBC university and I was talking to professors.” “Whoa.” He literally exploded and ran. All I saw was his back.

And I saw the same man about five months later, and he asked the exact same question, “What are you doing?” I said, “Remember the last time you asked that question?” He went… I had to put myself in their position. If I was in their position and somebody like me was saying what I was saying, I would think they were as nutty as hoot owls. And they thought I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown, because they were seeing the impossible being done. There’s only one way it’s possible. It’s already inside you.

And that’s what these wise mystics of the world throughout time have done. They’ve talked to people, not to give them something, but to draw out of them what they already know. And they talk before form. And if you talk before form and that person listening hears, then they get it, because it unfolds from their soul, from their consciousness, deep within. It comes out, and it’s theirs for life. Once you get it, you never lose it. You can’t. Can’t lose it.

I know a lot of people find little bits, and they go up and down. And maybe they’re happy for a month. Then they go unhappy. And they’ll phone up and say, “I just lost it.” I’ll say, “Don’t worry. It’ll come back.” As long as you realise all it is, is you’ve changed thought. Your thoughts have changed. Change them back. How do you change them back? By truly realising there’s been a switch in thought. Thought is the missing link that every therapist in this world is looking for. Thought is the missing link that literally everybody is looking for.

10Das, and the carriers of the secret24:02

I was talking to a friend this morning, and he said in the Jewish religion there’s something called das. Is that right? And in Hebrew, das means mind. Do you mind me saying? I won’t mention names. This rabbi went up to somebody and said, “Look, I found somebody that talks about das. Why don’t we still talk about das?” And they said, “Because nobody understands.”

If you really start to understand what mind is, you realise it’s true. You cannot give it away. It’s impossible. You know the kahunas in Hawaii? Kahuna in the Hawaiian language means—they’re the Hawaiian priests. And kahuna in the Hawaiian language means “the carriers of the secret of mind.” They’re back to that das. So there’s the Jewish and the Hawaiian both saying the same thing. There is no difference. You could take any religion, anything, anyone in this world, and put them all together, and they’re all saying the same thing differently. That’s why I said to you yesterday no matter what church you belong to, keep going. And see if you can go beyond what you’ve been hearing before. It’s there. It’s everywhere.

Truth is everywhere. Truth is in this room right now. This is made of truth. This glass. Truth is an essence before form. The spiritual energy that has no form. I know the scientists and the physicists all nowadays are starting to have a clue, starting to have the idea that there is a formless energy and that everything is created from this formless energy. And I was talking to this doctor once about that, but the trouble is they look for the formless energy through a microscope. How can you possibly find formless through a microscope?

11The logic of the psyche. The psycho-logical.26:45

Here’s where it comes. In here – the heart, the head, the combination. It comes through. This is where your psyche comes in. The logic of the psyche: psycho-logical. Get it? Psycho-logical. The logic of the psyche. The logic of the soul. The logic of the essence. This is where psychology, the originally psychologically, if you look up in the dictionary, it’s the study of the mind and the soul. But through time, because nobody really understood mind or soul, they gave it up. It’s like they said, “No sense in talking soul because this is psychological, the logic of the psyche. The soul belongs to the church. So we’ll forget that one. So let’s concentrate on mind.”

Then they realised that nobody knew what mind was, so they dropped it. And this is their biggest mistake ever, because when they dropped it, they went to behaviour. When they went to behaviour, this is after the fact. Too late. The damage has been done. But if you stick to mind, soul, and consciousness, you’ll find the answer.

12Questions — on creation28:26

Anybody got a question? No, I’m serious. Nice and loud, please.

Q: Could you talk about creation?

No. No. Impossible. No. I said yesterday when a newly born baby comes into this world it’s come from the spiritual. It’s been incubated, but it has no memory. It hasn’t experienced creation yet because it’s still absolutely pure. It has no idea of creation. When that baby is born, when it comes into this world, then it’s entered the physical world. It’s left the spiritual world, come into the physical world, then its five senses take over: touching, smelling, seeing, tasting, whatever. And that’s where it comes into this physical world. And from then on, it travels through the world, guided by those five senses.

But the five senses on their own are totally neutral until they get amalgamated with mind, consciousness, and thought. They are the creators of this reality, those three principles. If you look carefully—and I don’t know much about religion. I really don’t. I’m not a religious person. One time when I was a kid in Scotland, yeah. Spiritual, but not religion. What I’m saying has no form and I don’t want a form. And that’s where it goes missing because as soon as it takes on a form it’s lost. There’s no longer purity. If you can stick with the formless, there’s where your life will change.

When I started to realise you could talk without thinking, that was a beautiful feeling. It’s like what’s happening now. I’m not thinking. It’s just coming out. It’s so simple; you don’t need thought. You just let what you call universal thought take over because the answer is always there, always, always, always.

I remember the first time somebody said to me—this was only about three days after my experience—sarcastically, “Well, what is life?” And I said, “Well, it’s a divine dream suspended within the boundaries of time, space, and matter.” I didn’t know where that came from. I thought, “Whoa, where did that come from?” And only once in my life I challenged it. And the challenge lasted about 20 seconds. Is this right? Because I was coming out with things that I didn’t even know what they meant.

I remember once talking to a whole bunch of gurus and doctors and various people from all over the world. The very, very first time I ever spoke, and I spoke for about two hours. And when it was finished, I went up to my wife, and I said, “Could you tell me what’s the true meaning of this word I’ve been using all night?” And she told me, and I thought, “Oh, thank God. It’s okay.” But you get used to it. You get used to it. Have you ever noticed the therapists in this room right now and all the helpers of humanity in this room right now, when they get up they never have a speech? They never have anything written; it just comes out of them. It’s simplicity. Simplicity.

Simplicity is always the answer. But nobody knows when creation started. Nobody. Nobody could ever explain that. You just know it has.