You Already Know

Best-version transcript — the human transcription refined against a word-timed machine transcript of the cleaned audio. Spotted an error? Corrections are welcome.

I know you know it. And all I just want to do is just show you that you know it.

[Inaudible 00:20]. I know that truth is communicated [unclear 0:28] through another [man’s 00:29] consciousness. [Inaudible 00:33] you see now that are important [unclear 0:37]. It’s just being here, communicating to us. People only communicate [97 00:44] percent of what we want to say [unclear 0:47] verbal manner.

Do you know what you’re saying right now?

Do you know what I’m saying? Do you care?

You haven’t been listening.

I have been listening.

Why are you here?

Why am I here today? Why did I come back from yesterday? I came here yesterday for a reason because I spent $100 to get here. I did that because I listened to his tape and I thought “This man had interesting things that he said. I would like to hear more of what he has to say.” I thought it’d be good to hear him in person as opposed to hearing him over a tape. I wanted to see [change in 01:45] my friend who I had not seen. It was the perfect opportunity to do that. I chose yesterday afternoon to continue on my trip to Miami instead of going to England. [unclear 1:57] that because I had other things I wished to achieve which I could not do if I went to England.

What is all that about?

He’s asking me a question, and I’m answering his questions.

Who’s your teacher?

I have no teacher. I am my teacher. I have mentors.

Pardon?

I have mentors and I have friends that have given what they could communicate of their knowledge to me.

Do you see what you’re doing right now?

No, I don’t. I don’t know if you see what I’m doing right now. What do you see that I’m doing right now?

You’re stopping the flow.

I asked you a question which I understood I could do.

Do you listen to yourself? Just listen. Listen.

I’m a very argumentative person. I know what I’m saying. I’m listening to myself. [unclear 2:52] a point, and I’m pissed off because I consider you thinking you’re better than me. And you consider the people that I talk to as inferior to you. When you say guru, I take it as a personal thing. They are not my gurus, and I’m not listening to them and that’s how I react every time you say the word.

Listen.

I am listening.

Listen to yourself.

I know what I am.

How do you feel?

Angry.

Right.

But I’m very comfortable with my anger.

Shh. Listen. How can you be comfortable with anger?

It’s like I’ve grown accustomed to [your face 03:35]. That’s all.

Do you know what anger is?

It’s an emotion.

What kind of emotion?

A heavy one.

A heavy one because it’s insecurity, because it’s fear.

I had a question to ask you, and I’m angry that you put me on for it and tell me to listen to what I’m saying. I know what I’m saying. I want straight answers from you, and you’re not giving them to me. It’s my opinion you’re not.

Well, there’s one thing you can always do is just walk away.

Yeah, I know. But that’s hard for me to do.

So [unclear 4:12] spoil everything in anger, eh?

I didn’t mean to spoil it. Had you just answered my question simply, I wouldn’t have gotten to anger.

I answered your question.

No, you did not. You turned around and said, “Listen to yourself.”

That’s how I was trying to answer your question.

Why didn’t you do it more directly?

You really don’t see what you’re doing.

No, I don’t see it.

You really don’t see that you’re…

Excuse my ignorance.

No, please. I don’t want to argue. No, no. I don’t want to argue.

Good, I don’t want to argue.

Please don’t argue.

Don’t judge me.

Would you believe that you started this fight yesterday?

I would believe that you set me off yesterday.

The second we met.

No.

The second we met.

No, sir. It was after that. It was after I’d listened to you speak.

You don’t see what you’re doing, eh?

Do you want to continue this now or would you like to continue it later or not continue it at all? Because I don’t really care one way or the other.

Now you know why I don’t like to talk in public.

And you know why I don’t like to [unclear 5:25].

If you don’t want help, there’s nothing to staying here, really.

If I don’t want help?

No.

I want information; I don’t need help, Syd.

What I see is how can you answer an ego question with a spiritual answer if you want…? It seems like she wants an ego answer, but you don’t want to give an ego answer.

That’s right. I can’t.

What ego question am I asking?

See, you’re off again. You love a fight.

No, I’m asking.

Don’t you see. This is what we all went through. I went through forty-three years of life wanting fights and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t know it was causing all my trouble. It was causing all my medical problems. It was causing everything. But I saw it, and I’m just [unclear 6:10] trying to tell you the same thing. Maybe, just maybe, you’re not seeing something.

Syd, maybe, just maybe, today I got a shot that affects me terribly. It makes me very volatile emotionally speaking.

Why?

Because it’s a medicine. It’s a chemical. What do you want from me? That’s the way it works. I’ve gotten volumes of things written about it in [DDR 06:33] books. Doctors will say and my doctor will say, some of the greatest neurologists in United States and the world will say about this medication, and I have to take it right now because I’m committed to taking it right now. Because right now, I need that medicine.

I agree 100%. What’s the argument there?

Nothing, except that I’m not trying to pick another fight. I’m just responding the way I can right now. It’s very difficult for me even without the medication to be cool about things.

I have no idea why you brought in medicine.

What’s that ego question she was talking about that I was asking out of my ego? I thought I was asking a very simple question.

What was the question?

I have no idea. It’s been lost a thousand times.

It wouldn’t have been had you just answered the goddamn thing.

I did.

I’m finished, Syd. I’m sorry.

Would anyone like to say anything?

Yeah, I think this is kind of beautiful. I think that I’m glad you’re willing to kind of share yourself.

Thank you.

I really hope that you do stay. I hope you don’t get into some kind of a power struggle.

It’s not [unclear 8:02] power struggle. I will stay at least until it’s time for me to go.

I also hope you don’t get into a power struggle.

I just want you to look at your emotions.

I’d like to look at yours if you had no emotions. I do. I’m young with this. I’m learning, Syd. I’m sorry.

You’re not learning at all. You’re just going around in circles.

I’m learning outside of this. This is one of the ways I thought I might learn. I have other teachers that I need them besides you if I need them.

That’s what I asked you. You said you didn’t have any.

If I need them. I don’t consider you a teacher unless I need you as a teacher.

Well, why are you disturbing this whole place?

Fun and games, Syd. My ego. You know the answer as well as I do. You can tell me as easily as I can tell you. You’ve been telling me exactly what I’m doing this whole morning. You’ve been telling me that I’m arguing out of anger, that I’m responding out of ego. Well, you know I’ll be interested. Why ask me?

But he just said he doesn’t know the answers. He said no man does.

[unclear 9:18] Syd doesn’t know the answers. I don’t know the answers either. Don’t ask me dumb questions. I’ll tell you [unclear 9:23].

I’ll tell you, look. Please, listen to yourself, will you? don’t you see, that’s what we’ve been talking about all last night and all today is about anger, hostility, and it’s coming out of you. And if you look at it you might get some release. Look at it.

What do you want me to do after I look at it?

You’ll know.

Well, I did. I expressed it because I got caught up in the moment.

You see right now I could walk away because I know if that girl keeps talking like this it’d be just as well to walk away.

I won’t say another word, Syd.

You know what’s happened to the feelings in this room, eh?

Right. All negative.

It’s all negative. No, no. Please.

[unclear 10:19].

I don’t feel [unclear 10:25].

Listen to me, please. There’s two lights. I’ll say it again. There’s a little light with all this arguing, it’s fighting, and it’s details and it’s cross-questioning like what we’re doing now. [unclear 10:38] same level right now. Come down to meet each other, and I’m going to this little level right now. There is not an answer in this world. You must go spiritual. You must go beyond what that girl thinks or what anybody else thinks. It’s got nothing to do with thinking. And I’m not interested in what your dad thinks or what your mom thinks or what Barb thinks or what Keith thinks or you think. We’re not here to try and think. Truth is not a thinking process. It’s a knowing. And once you start it, this is where all your medical health will come. This is where your mental health. This is where all this will start. If anybody can tell me they’re learning anything here right now, it’s very little. You know the old saying “you learn from everything, the good and the bad.” There’s also another saying: “The wise man learns from a fool, but a fool doesn’t learn from a wise man.” And that’s what’s happening today because one ego is [unclear 11:55]. And I really wish it wouldn’t be.

But why isn’t [unclear 12:00]? How does it [unclear 12:03]?

But a fool will not learn from a wise man. Do you see what you’re doing?

I just asked you a question.

No, you’re not.

[unclear 12:16] challenged him.

You’re challenging, woman.

I get the message that I’m [unclear 12:23] met my ego and I’m sorry.

This man here is saying he’s learning from you.

[unclear 12:33].

And I’m saying here’s a wise man. There’s a wise man. There’s a wise woman. But they’re learning from what you’re doing.

I understand.